Some people don't enjoy my sense of humor. I'm well aware that I sometimes go places with my jokes that make people feel uncomfortable. I find the humor in Parkinson's disease, and I would love to shake the hand of someone who has the disease but chances are they are already doing that on their own. The mentally challenged? I'd have no problem putting 8 of them in a house together and broadcasting the best damn reality television show anyone has ever seen, Special Survivor. Some say Stephen Hawking is one of the brightest minds of our time, but if you think about it, what else is he going to do all day besides read? Is he really going to end up at a concert with his girlfriend hoisted on top of his shoulders so she can flash her tits at the band? No, because he's a couch cushion. Funny is everywhere, funny is everything. And if you didn't laugh at the couch cushion part of this blog, then I guess you just hate cripples.
Done
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Rhymes with...
McDonald's have been told to lose their toys,
because our kids are getting too fat.
Taco Bell was in the news this week,
Someone claims there's no beef in that.
The President was on T.V. last night,
I did not watch that show.
SNL once did a commercial spoof,
about a product called Colon Blow.
I am sitting on my couch right now,
and yes my pants are zipped.
Remember to get some dollar bills,
cause them strippers like to be tipped.
There's no reason for this blog post,
but there is plenty of rhyme.
So if you're looking at me for some kind of point,
please check back at some other time.
Some of you may be waiting,
for a reference to a van or disease.
I bought my own candy at a store,
so I didn't have to get on my knees.
To all of you that will read this,
for inspiration you are the ones.
And how can McDonald's make you fat?,
because it always gives me the runs.
Done
because our kids are getting too fat.
Taco Bell was in the news this week,
Someone claims there's no beef in that.
The President was on T.V. last night,
I did not watch that show.
SNL once did a commercial spoof,
about a product called Colon Blow.
I am sitting on my couch right now,
and yes my pants are zipped.
Remember to get some dollar bills,
cause them strippers like to be tipped.
There's no reason for this blog post,
but there is plenty of rhyme.
So if you're looking at me for some kind of point,
please check back at some other time.
Some of you may be waiting,
for a reference to a van or disease.
I bought my own candy at a store,
so I didn't have to get on my knees.
To all of you that will read this,
for inspiration you are the ones.
And how can McDonald's make you fat?,
because it always gives me the runs.
Done
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
No more TV dinners
Anyone who knows me knows that I don't watch a lot of tv shows or movies. Now when I say "not a lot", I mean that I watch tv about as often as the Olsen twins enjoy an all-you-can-eat buffet. That being said, it never used to be that way. I actually enjoyed watching television as a youngster. I had can't miss shows long before the days of Tivo, and rarely did I miss those appointments. What happened to those days? Where did my lust for the "boob-tube" go? I don't know if there is one single event, but more of a "gumbo" of electronic feces that just ruined my appetite for the new fall line-up. I've recognized the problem, now what?
The solution is simple... change everything. It shouldn't take more than an afternoon worth of work to get that done. I need to get a couple of phone numbers and pitch my line up for the next generation of can't miss shows. First up, An asian mortician who is also a private investigator- call it "Dead Wong". I know, it's genius, but just wait. Next up, a movie event for the whole family. A giant sinkhole in Nebraska is about to take the entire state into the bowels of the Earth- Title: Cornhole. Just calm yourselves, remember I do have to make a few calls to get these glorious balls rolling.
All I'm trying to say is that we need more creativity, a little more risk with a little more patience to see how things develop. I mean who is going to give Michael J. Fox his own cooking show, let alone have the guts to call it Shake n' Bake. That is my kind of "must see tv".
Done,
Kirby
The solution is simple... change everything. It shouldn't take more than an afternoon worth of work to get that done. I need to get a couple of phone numbers and pitch my line up for the next generation of can't miss shows. First up, An asian mortician who is also a private investigator- call it "Dead Wong". I know, it's genius, but just wait. Next up, a movie event for the whole family. A giant sinkhole in Nebraska is about to take the entire state into the bowels of the Earth- Title: Cornhole. Just calm yourselves, remember I do have to make a few calls to get these glorious balls rolling.
All I'm trying to say is that we need more creativity, a little more risk with a little more patience to see how things develop. I mean who is going to give Michael J. Fox his own cooking show, let alone have the guts to call it Shake n' Bake. That is my kind of "must see tv".
Done,
Kirby
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Another New Year
2011... now what? Does the changing of the year change the way we live? Do we want to change the things that are holding back our potential, or do we just like to over-promise and under-deliver? I am going to make a change, maybe not a huge change, more of an addition to my life. Follow along this year and find out what happens, could be just another year... could be the start of something bigger than what I have now. Nobody can know the future, but if you just keep spinning the clay on the potter's wheel without getting your hands into it, you'll always just have a pile of clay. Make something, be something, do something. This is now the year of something, be it small or large... in the end it will still be something. This isn't me changing the way I am, I still think Michael J. Fox would absolutely kick ass on any Wii game. Just something.
Kirby
Kirby
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